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What Your Hand Would Look Like if It Was Designed for Self-Pleasure

Before you google this, be warned . . . you can’t un-see it:  The adult toy company Lovehoney posted two graphics that show what the human hand would look like if it was re-designed to just be good at SELF-PLEASURING.

They did one for men’s hands and one for women’s, and they’re very different concepts.  But both look like something out of a nightmare.

The one for women…

Includes a longer forearm and hyper-flexible joints for better reach, plus “thermal control” for hot and cold options.  And every finger is like a different love toy . . . kind of like if your hand was a Swiss Army knife for solo-play.

There’s a weird rabbit-ear thumb . . . a stubby index finger with ridges . . . a wavy middle finger that’s extra-long . . . a ring finger that shoots “pleasure” air . . . a smaller pinky finger built for “precision” . . . and the whole hand can VIBRATE.

The one for men is equally weird.

It’s got a thumb and SIX fingers instead of four, and they’re WEBBED for maximum skin-on-skin contact.

They’re also textured with little nubs . . . the palm is wider, with ridges on it . . . there’s a small hole in the center for “suction sensations” . . . the thumb joint is much more flexible . . . and there’s a wider, stronger forearm to help with endurance.

Both versions would make doing anything else with your hands totally impractical.  But I guess the point is why WOULD you do anything else?



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